Saturday, December 20, 2008

05. Coup On Brought Up Of Children

One day, a mother came to my school along with her 2½ years old kid. She asked me to admit the kid [girl] in school. I refused it and I tried to convince her, as "It is not good to depart such small kid from mother. You are not working woman. So it is not unavoidable for you to leave the child in school immediately. Enjoy her childhood. Let the child grow in the hands of mother at least up to 3 years. She will be self-confident. In future, such children will become strong youth. They can be daring enough to face life struggles. So leave her free for some more time."

Immediately the mother of that kid answered me as that the kid was naughty enough, so mischievous and hence the mother was not able bare her. That's why she wanted to admit the kid in the school. What we can say?

In past i.e. before 40 to 50 years, each and every mother in A.P. i.e. in India used to think that their kid was Bhagavan Bala Krishna. There was a belief in our society as God stay at children's mind. Mother used to sing Lullabi by imagining that their child look like Sri Krishna & used to make up them look like Bala Krishana on Gokulastami day. So that they could enjoy the spirituality, love and affection of mother & child bondage. By such feelings, the patience in mother could get increase. That to in those days, there was no T.V. or internet i.e. recreation or entertainment of 24 hours to eat up the time of human life. So that they were able to enjoy time, with human bondages.

By now the house wives even find no time to spend for the family. Nobody have time to spend for kids. Each grown up person has his own schedules.

Recently in Kurnool district, there was happened one incident. I read it on News paper. A woman left a child of aged 1½ year in a water tub, to prevent his disturbance while watching T.V. serial. After 2 hours i.e. four T.V. serials episodes only, she could remember about the kid. But by that time, the little boy lost his life. How terrible it is? Is the T.V. serial which filled with revenges, coups and extreme expressions of actors attractive and enjoyable than the sweet smiles, words and activities of little boy? The smooth touch of a kid will give us more relax. The divine smell, which carries the tinge of milk of a kid, will give us more relief from tensions. The sweet smile of a kid will sink us in the flow of smiles. The cute body moments of a kid will wet us in the rain of laughs. This is my own experience with kids in my school. In fact, this is the experience of everybody except the T.V. addicted fellows.

Is T.V. serial or T.V. anchor mesmerism more enjoyable than this?

Really, most of the people had forgotten how to enjoy the life and what is real joy. In past that means the time at which this much of speed was not introduced in our lives, joint families were there in society. Children could watch that their 'parents obeying their parents i.e. the grand parents of children. The children would be educated about behavior, mannerisms, common sense, human relations, and basic knowledge of society by their grand parents. The grandparent's generation would be more patience and more leisure to spend with children. Both the generations of grand parents and grand children are mutually suitable to each other with respective their needs. The old generation needs time spending objects where as the little generation needs time to clarify their nonsensical and absurd doubts. Such a nice mutual requirement that God had provided in human society i.e. in family system to enjoy love and affections. How much kind is God towards human beings and all living things!

But every living being is enjoying such naturality except human beings. Recently I read an interview of a celebrity in which she explained that she got an E-mail from her daughter to seek her appointment for half an hour. We need money; we need achievements to prove our selves. We need success to get professional satisfaction. Ultimately we need self satisfaction in life. But how can we get self-satisfaction, by losing time to enjoy bondages, time to enjoy nature and time to enjoy feelings?

In my opinion, we must use our talents, abilities and capabilities irrespective of men and women in home as well as in society.

But manufacturing of consumer goods or commercial goods whatever they may, be computer, projects, or anything else, are not at all greater than the manufacturing of right and faithful generation. No doubt that the computer is not greater than the computer inventor.

I hope that you accept my opinion. I wish that all of we think about the limitations of material and sentiments i.e. materialism and idealism.

Recently I read on newspaper that some scientists done experiments, conducted surveys and declared that the playing of 'Dobuchi', 'chichi' of mother with her kids is most helpful for child growth. Dobuchi means mother used to cover her face or child's face with transparent cloth and say 'Buchi' by removing it. Repeated silly game will entertain the mother and child as well as entire family. Since the age of 3 months it self such entertainment and communication will start with the child. After survey on number of kids, the scientists declared it, where as in Indian life style, it was adopted as ancient as Indian history & Hindu culture. In fact, Hindu culture is not a religion. It is a life style. Foreign scientists verified such practical one now. If they get patent on it, demand the mothers all over the world to pay money to them to enable the mothers to play Dubuchi with their own kids; we should not feel wonder on it.

Because, to play with kids of age days to months, doing massage on the baby bodies with butter and oils, prepare food with granules, all are part of Indian motherhood. But now Vitaminised oils for massage, Farex as solid food etc. etc. are in market availability. But to the natural and regional environment, Farex or Cerelac etc. are definitely not as suitable as natural crops i.e. cereals & seeds. But, due to attractive advertisements, young generation is crazy towards such chemicalized corporate products and paying deaf ears to the old generation advices. In fact old generation also forgotten the nature and running after the speed life on the name of modern.

Now scientists are declaring that Pram is preventable while compare with carrying of the kid under the arms by hugging them towards mother's breast. By hearing her heartbeat, the child's health physically as well as psychologically will be much more better. Now scientist are declaring that walker is preventable while compare with making the child to walk by holding the finger of father to enable the child to under stand the gravitational pull and to let the child to get improve the coordination among body organs & brain. By experiencing such force, the brain cells organization will get activated naturally. Other wise it will be deficiency permanently just like mother's breast milk vs. bottle milk.

On the other hand corporate companies are introducing shampoos i.e. baby shampoos, which won't burn Baby eyes. So no need to them to close their eyes and to cry during bath. So such shampoos are more comfortable to both mother and kid. But who will give practical experience to the kid regarding the protection of eyes with eye lashes? After grown up they may learn it. But naturality is driven away from them when they are days babies themselves.

Naturality is driven away and artificial world is introduced them at the age of months itself by means of T.V. So hearing to grandparents and other family members, replying them with Ha Ha Hi Hi Hi sounds, conversing with family members in their own kid's language is minimized as passable as. That much of artificiality, distance from nature are necessary to kids?

If you observe the kids, they enjoy much with Pancha Bhootas instead of toys whatever the toys, soft or electronics, colorful and attractive. Pancha Bhootas means five nature objects, earth, water, sty, fire and air. If you observe the kids, they enjoy extremely with mud on floor, water etc. While they enjoy with water, air, we can watch a tremendous glory on their faces and brightness in their eyes. The kids have extreme attraction towards fire. When a candle is blowing in front of their eyes, they won't see any other object except it. If we show them sky, moon, stars, we can enjoy their joy. It is our most familiar experience with kids. You can observe, the babies of aged 10 months, one year & 1+ years when they are travelling on bikes, cars, and train, how they enjoy the pressure of wind!

Such is their attachment with nature. Such is their attraction towards nature. Such that the nature influences them, entertain them and make them to grow without pollution. But what we are doing? We are eliminating the nature, naturality from their lives.

Please observe a kid going on bike along with his family members. Observe the same kid when he is going on bicycle along with his family members. Observe the same kid when he is going by walk on any body's hands. You can observe that the kid's happiness is extreme when he is in the hands of others on foot than the speed travelling of bicycle and bike. Because, while going on foot, by sitting in the shoulders or the hands of elders, the kid is able to watch the colorful nature and wonderful surrounds. By leaving his four walled rooms in house, however they furnished and decorated, the room get bore to them because of continuous watching. So that, coming into the road thrills the kid. They enjoy every thing out side. The slow journey is enjoyable than the speedy one. It is applicable for life also.

In Telugu, there is an idiom "Parugu yethi Palu thage kante nilabadi neelu thagadem melu" that means, it is better to drink water by standing while compare with drinking milk by running. Strategically certain arguments were made in past, I observed it 30 years back. When I was child of 10 years like that, as -if we stand to drink water, leaving the milk that means avoid the running or competition, we won't get water even. So that everybody had followed fast life. Hence result we are experiencing. If competition and speed in life is unlimited, only increases of pulse rate and heartbeat will remain. Though you get milk by running but you can't get peace to enjoy the taste of milk. Without peace, no health, no joy.

This truth, God is establishing in the form of kid. Really! If you observe the kids of the young age i.e. days & month's babies, you can learn much about faith, about nature, about human nature and about God's unlimited love towards us. What God wants' to speak with us, we can hear it by observing the kid's behavior.

Supporting this, I narrate you a News item that I recently studied. [Dt. 29-11-07, Enadu]. I'm presenting it as it is-

GOOD – EVIL by 6 months

We think that kids know only two thing laughing with wide opening of mouth and crying with wild pitch of sound. But the scientists are telling that the kids are able to grasp which is good and which is bad before the age of 6 months it self.

A person's nature reflects in his behavior with others. This is the main key to analyze a person's nature. We follow this parameter which is applicable for all social animals. But we have no clarity that from which age we get this ability. In this back ground, the scientist, Mrs. Kili Hemlin of Yel University of America conducted experiments along with her team.

Play of dolls:-

The scientist's team had selected 6 and 10 months babies for this experiment. They had taken colorful wooden toys i.e. dolls, which could attract the kid's vision. The team started dolls play by keeping the kids with their parents. Their play is of two types. In first play, a doll is trekking a mountain. While it is approaching the top of mountain, another doll there is pushing it down. In second play, to the doll, which is, trekking up the mountain another shaped doll is helping the previous doll to reach the top of the mountain. The team exhibited these two plays repeatedly. After that, they kept both the dolls, out of which one had pushed the trucking doll and the other had helped the trekking doll in front of every kid. To our surprise, every kid of aged 6 months [totally 12 members] had taken the dolls, which had helped the other. Out of 16 kids, 14 kids of 10 months had selected the same.

With this results, Mr. Hemlin stated that, within few months of birth, before the starting of coaching language and learning, kids have the ability of primary knowledge which lead them to grasp which is good and which is evil. She is saying that this primary knowledge lead the kids in due course of time to easy foundation to their morality, behavior and logical sense.

Previous researches declared that the reaction of children to grow as social beings would end by their 1½-year age. Now it is declared that such reaction [activity] will start before 6 months of their age.


This is the practical fact. When you think about it, the 10 months aged babies; two of them selected the dolls, which had shown rough behavior with other. This may be because of their parents. We used to watch some parents who encourage their kids of aged 7,8 months to beat others; by handling the babies little palm in their hands.

Actually, every newborn kid has its own natural instinct. After grown up also, if we have good relation with our soul i.e. Atma that means if we behave with our selves without self-deceiving, we can experience such natural instinct. In other words, I can say that if we practice to live with truth, definitely we can experience that natural instinct or sixth sense or knowledge which is natural to animal. [Janthu Sahaja Ghanam].

But now in all possible ways, the elders are spoiling the kids. The above experiment shows us this, with high clarity. When 100% of kids of aged 6 months favored to faith, but after growing up of 4 months more, that percentage was decreased. In such case only, observing more and more percentage decrease of favor to faith after growing and growing of children. Then where is the fault? With the kids? Or with the parents and elders?

The parents are polluting the children instead of the bringing them up. Every feature society, movies, T.V.s, magazines, elders behaviors etc. etc. is giving them wrong signals. Whatever manner the elder behavior in the presence of children, they follow it, naturally and thinking that it is right and good. If the elders lie, if the elders drink liquor and giving lecturer to children to speak truth and drinking liquor is bad habit, how they believe it and how they follow it?

By the way, children are learning from their parents and elders, as "Morals are only to say but not to practice". By the way, children are learning from their parents and elders, as "Speaking words is different to doing works". By the way, children are learning from their parents and elders, as "Whatever we speak, there is no need to practice them". Hence, result is unfaithfulness in the behavior of children. Pseudo personality that is Pseudo character is forming in children.

There is an idiom in Telugu "Auu chelo Mestte Dooda gattuna Mesthunda!" How the calf could graze on the bank of field while its mother cow graze in the field. How truth it is? But I watched so many parents to council the children with words but not with their own behavior. In their opinion, words are powerful than works. I don't know how the empty plate can satisfy our hunger if we say that the plate is full with food to eat.

Here I refer you an example given by Sri Swami Ramatheerdha. I read this as my Telugu lesson when I was studying in my 6th class. In that example Swamy Ramatheerdha said that "If a room is dark, we can't en light it by scolding the room, cursing it, and thronging ink bottles into the room and pushing the table in the room. Only by lighting a candle can drive out the darkness from there. Only appropriate work can give yield or result but not hundreds of words". If we observe keenly, the least application of this consciousness is all over our society now.

Here I want to narrate you another real life story which I read as my lesson in school days. I had forgotten the name of great personality about who is mentioned in that lesson. It might be either Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa or Bapuji i.e. Mahatma Gandhi.

One day a woman with her 6 years old child came to a great person and requested him to advice her child to do not over eat sweets. He asked her to visit him again after one week. After one week, she approached him with her child and he counseled the child regarding over eating of sweets and advised him not to over eat the sweets. After that the mother asked him that to advice the kid why he took one week time. He told to her that himself have the habit of over eating of sweets, so that within this one week he stopped to eat them and then only he could advise the child.

That's all the impact of it. But what we observe now? There is a general opinion that the ethical values and morals are only to say but not to practice.

With such motives, how the elders can guide the children in a faithful way? The following story can demonstrate you this, with high clarity. As per my remembrance, I read this story in Chandamama, the children's magazine.

అనగా అనగా …………….

One day a hunter captured two baby parrots in a forest. He kept them in a small cage and moved towards his home. On the way one of baby parrot fallen from the cage. The hunter did not notice it and proceeded home. At that moment a sage was coming in that way. He observed all. He took that baby parrot in to his hands and brought it to his ashram. Along with his disciples, he had taken care of it. It brought up there and learnt to speak. As well as the hunter brought up the other baby parrot in his home. Days were passed.

One day a rich man was travelling in the forest on his horse. He lost his way in the evening darkness. By observing light, he approached the hunters hut. There he heard a voice saying, "Some body came. Beat him. Hurt him with sword. Kill him." The parrot in the cage was saying this, when it watched this unknown man. By hearing this, the rich man afraid and ran away from there. After few minutes, he could approach the sage's Ashram. There the parrot in the cage said when it watched his arrival as "some Athidhi Deva i.e. God in the form of guest came. Welcome him. Treat him with food and shelter. Serve him well". By hearing this, the disciples and sage came out of the ashram and received him as their guest.

After having food and rest, the rich man explained his experiences to the sage. And asked why the two parrots said different words though both are same type of birds. To his surprise, the sage told him both the birds were born to one mother parrot. The rich man enquired the reason. The sage counseled him as "Nayana that means oh, my little father like! Though the parrots belong to same mother, they brought up in different houses. Whatever they observed there, they are following the same, 'Ye guti chilaka Aa Paluku palukunu'. That means "whatever the parrot speaks, it belongs to its nest."

That's the entire story.

Without this awareness, maximum proportion of parents is bringing up their children. They are making their children to educate in pseudo schools and pseudo systems. It is the result of total Mechanical life. By thinking that they are following Aristocracy or Modern life or Advanced attitude, they are not allowing the children to think with logical sense. They are not allowing the children to learn hard working. The sweet childhood is filled with running, speed schedules, bihardings, without enjoying knowledge, without hearing stories, without love nature. Just they are getting education with out readability. Just they are getting marks, ranks and certificates without personality.

So many parents are thinking that by giving expensive things to children and by fulfilling all the needs and desires, of their children their responsibility is over. But do they know why children especially kids have woo on their teacher? Why the kids obey their teacher? Why the kids admire their teacher? Children used to argue with their parents as their teacher said so and so, but not like the parent said. Most of us have these experiences with our children. Being teacher and being mother, I have this experience.

This is because the kids love their teachers. Why they love their teacher? The teacher is not giving expensive things to them. The teacher is not fulfilling their needs and desires. Then why they love their teacher? Because, the teacher is fulfilling the thrust of knowledge. The teacher is satisfying their hunger of knowledge.

Up to certain younger age only, kids can satisfy with physical needs. After that, they hunt us with curiosity. They put the rain of question on us. They harass us to introduce all the surrounds & other things. That's why only rich life won't give bondage with the children. The peaceful lives can give the joy of bondage with the children. The chatting, the story telling will mesmerize our life with love and affection in family life. Then only our children can become like a son of Jijiya bai i.e. Shivaji or like a son of Puthali bai i.e. Bapuji.

Lullaby songs, bedtime stories, handful food represent the motherhood, but not spoon-feeding or Pizza presenting. Playing on belly, climbing on back, playing rezling competitions, represent the fatherhood but not shopping and restaurant visiting.

In our Sanskrit literature, there is a slokam which I forgotten but I can present its meaning to you. According to it, we have to treat our kid i.e. son or daughter like a king that means boss to us up to their 5 years. By the way they can enjoy the priority of childhood. After 5 years up to 15 years, we have to treat them as servants. By the way, they can learn hard working and obedience; by the way, they can learn good knowledge. After 15 years we have to treat them as our friends. By the way, they can learn the self-respect, courtesies, behavioral concepts, by the way they can learn about the values and problems of life.

But now what is happening? Most of the parents are not awaritive, how to bring up the children. And most of the parents are not eligible to bring up the children. Actually, the children are not only belonging to their parents. They belong to the society. They belong to the country. They belong to the world. In fact they are the assets of the nation.

May be that's why, the great philosopher of Greek, Plato in his Utopia, said that the children must be apart from their parents to bring up them as perfect citizens. But by doing so, life will become tasteless. But by improper performing of parenthood, life is becoming bitterness.

That is the tragedy. We must effort to change this situation for the sake of sweet smile on the shining lips of the children.

In this contest, let us recall the sweet song from Rabindra Nath Tagore's Gitangali.

"Where the human mind can be without fear,

Where the human being can move with respect and reasonable pride,

Where the knowledge can be exist with freedom,

Where the world cannot be divide into piece and preserve in-between the

Narrow walls,

Where the words can be evolutes from depth truth,

Where the everlasting investigation can extend towards the fruit fullness,

Where the pure flow of knowledge cannot be, evaporate in the desert of dead

And blind believes,

Where the mind can travel towards the permanent and wide paths, in thoughts,

In works, in to such heaven of freedom, oh God!

Let my nation should wake up.


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